I pray all day. I pray for:
- the traffic light to stay green
- a good night’s sleep
- the grocery store lines to be short and
- the people around me to be civil.
Could I be any more pious?
A few weeks ago, I realized I’d been cloaking my arrogance as prayer. I’d been trying to grab the steering wheel away from the Great I Am to regain control over my day. I’d become the nagging, although polite, backseat driver who knew what I needed, more so than the all-understanding Most Divine.
This mindset has two problems:
- God is not my personal concierge, and
- I don’t really know what I need to face each day for personal growth or to help someone in need.
So now each morning I practice releasing my expectations. By freeing myself of the rigidity of how each day “should go,” I can allow myself to be open to holy guidance.
Nothing needs to happen the way I want it to
Perhaps I hit every red light on the way to work so I won’t be in an intersection when a drunk driver runs it. Or maybe I’m meant to arrive at the same time as another co-worker and that interaction provides me (or her) with support or information to help us through a difficult period.
God times everything meticulously. It’s mind boggling to understand that the Great I Am can juggle all of us, our situations and our schedules, creating an environment in which we can move forward.
When I wrote A Reluctant Spirit, I marveled at the chain of events (many seemingly minor) that emotionally prepared me (as much as possible) for the night with the Goldfield Hotel ghosts. Plus, it wasn’t a fluke that I had the people around me that I did that night, at the workplace or as friends. All of a sudden, I found myself surrounded by earth-bound angels who could help me process the chaos of my new reality.
How I’m evolving my mindset
Each day, I ask god to release me of any expectations of how my day should go and to allow me to be open to being an instrument for the divine. When I find, myself frustrated at a situation or someone, I once again ask for God to help me let go of that negativity.
I’ve found a new sense of freedom and lowered my stress through this daily practice. I show up. I pay attention. And, yes, I still must act. I leave for work on time, so stoplights won’t make me late. And, I remind myself that I can’t control others.
I let life unfold as it’s supposed to.