Attempting to micromanage God

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Attempting to micromanage God

I pray all day. I pray for:

  • the traffic light to stay green
  • a good night’s sleep
  • the grocery store lines to be short and
  • the people around me to be civil.

Could I be any more pious?

A few weeks ago, I realized I’d been cloaking my arrogance as prayer. I’d been trying to grab the steering wheel away from the Great I Am to regain control over my day. I’d become the nagging, although polite, backseat driver who knew what I needed, more so than the all-understanding Most Divine.

This mindset has two problems:

  1. God is not my personal concierge, and
  2. I don’t really know what I need to face each day for personal growth or to help someone in need.

So now each morning I practice releasing my expectations. By freeing myself of the rigidity of how each day “should go,” I can allow myself to be open to holy guidance.

Nothing needs to happen the way I want it to

Perhaps I hit every red light on the way to work so I won’t be in an intersection when a drunk driver runs it. Or maybe I’m meant to arrive at the same time as another co-worker and that interaction provides me (or her) with support or information to help us through a difficult period.

God times everything meticulously. It’s mind boggling to understand that the Great I Am can juggle all of us, our situations and our schedules, creating an environment in which we can move forward.

When I wrote A Reluctant Spirit, I marveled at the chain of events (many seemingly minor) that emotionally prepared me (as much as possible) for the night with the Goldfield Hotel ghosts. Plus, it wasn’t a fluke that I had the people around me that I did that night, at the workplace or as friends. All of a sudden, I found myself surrounded by earth-bound angels who could help me process the chaos of my new reality.

How I’m evolving my mindset

Each day, I ask god to release me of any expectations of how my day should go and to allow me to be open to being an instrument for the divine. When I find, myself frustrated at a situation or someone, I once again ask for God to help me let go of that negativity.

I’ve found a new sense of freedom and lowered my stress through this daily practice. I show up. I pay attention. And, yes, I still must act. I leave for work on time, so stoplights won’t make me late. And, I remind myself that I can’t control others.

I let life unfold as it’s supposed to.

See my posts “Letting go differs from giving up” and “The Great I Am knows our needs better than we do.”  

By |2017-02-24T09:00:35+00:00December 21st, 2016|A Reluctant Spirit, Spirituality/Christianity|6 Comments

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  1. Sharon Leong December 21, 2016 at 10:00 am

    Very well put! Thanks for sharing, Kathleen!

    • Kathleen December 21, 2016 at 5:14 pm

      You’re very welcome, Sharon. All my best to you and Anne.

  2. Holly :) December 22, 2016 at 6:57 pm

    Thanks for reminding me that I’m not the only one that does this. 🙂

    • Kathleen December 22, 2016 at 9:34 pm

      You’re welcome, Holly. I think it is a struggle that is inherent to humans. My guess is that I will probably have to learn this lesson another handful of times. 🙂 Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting.

  3. Rita Ayala January 18, 2017 at 6:17 am

    Very well said cousin, love you

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